Thoughts from Pastor Sarah
“You shall not bow down to them or worship them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generations of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.” (Genesis 20:5-6)
This passage points out two things I don’t believe in. 1)God is not jealous! and 2) God does not punish the children of parents who sin. However, previous generations do leave messes for future generations to clean up. When the men who wrote this passage, they wrote it with their understanding of who God is and what God does. What I believe is a God of love who love us no matter what and that God’s love is steadfast to all God’s children.
I bring up this scripture because I recently attending a consultation that focused on first and second generations. I am a second generation Filipina American. I was invited because I am a second generation Filipina pastor working in a non-Filipino congregation which makes my context different than many second generation colleagues in ministry.
One of the concerns shared by the younger second generation folks was that they do not understand the first generation. The first generation in most of the contexts shared were silent about their past. For example: Many first generation immigrants work long hours and often a few jobs to support their families and make life “better” for their children. However, hearing the voices of the children now adults, they would have preferred more communication. For the first generation working the long hours and many jobs was an expression of love, but the second generation would have like to have been shown or told they were loved. Sounds all too complicated!!! But very simply put: With each generation, there is a need to communicate where they’ve been in order to understand the present. For the Japanese American parents who cannot share what it is like to be put in an internment camp by their country struggle to make their kids more “American” for fear of their reliving the past. For the Korean parent who has escaped for North Korean, the stories are hidden and the pain of the journey is not shared with the children. Once the stories are shared, the second generation begins to understand who their parents are. At the consultation, the stories were compelling and the need for intentional intergenerational communication is required in order for future generations to have a grasp of their identity.
In Poland generation miscommunication is taking place right now. According to an article in The Week, June 6, 2008, “Poland’s witch hunt against ‘communist spies’ must stop…Under communist rule, many people were blackmailed into collaborating with the secret police, a large number of them gave them misleading information or signed ‘loyalty declarations’ simply to get them off their backs. But in recent years, often from a younger generation blind to the compromises forced on older Poles, have pursued an unrelenting crusade against anyone named as a collaborator…” The story goes on to say that this group has even “fingered” Lech Walesa, the founder of the anti-communist movement, Solidarity!! This for me is the classic case of the previous generous generation not sharing the fear and the environment in which they lived in earlier times. Maybe this type of communication may have prevented the “witch hunts,”
So what do I regret that my first generation parents didn’t share with me? I wish that they had continued speaking to me in their home language so that I would be bi-lingual today. Why did they stop? Because well meaning English speaking neighbors said that if they didn’t start speaking English to their children we would fail is school. And in the Filipino/Asian culture “fail” is truly an obscene four-letter word! I wish that my parents had told me more stories of the Philippines instead of pushing us to be so American that my Filipino heritage was viewed as “less than” by my parents. I did get glimpses of their life it I listened well. For my mom, when shopping for groceries, would say, “I miss the bananas that you could pick off the tree.” Or my Dad after a drink or two would talk about serenading young women in the city. But they weren’t conversations and if pressed for more information they would stop talking. I wish I new more about my grandparents. They were all dead by the time my parents immigrated here. They are both gone now and at the age of 59 I still have questions but it is too late.
What I can share with you is that I am the product of both my mother and father but for this space I share my dad with you. My father Steve lied about his age and came to the United States at the age of 16. His sister was already in Stockton and she wanted him to come to go to school. My dad ended up working in the fields instead. After working in the fields and seeing so many old Filipino men come home from the fields with their bodies in pain from bending over and lifting crates, he decided that he needed to find another occupation. He became a “house boy” in Hollywood and some of his bosses included “Laurel and Hardy.” (or so he said!) He also learned to cook and bartend. As long as I had known him he worked everyday. During the day he worked as a warehouseman and in the evening as a bartender at a local golf and country club. He was a man of few words and he wanted his kids to be happy and successful. When my brother and I were teenagers, he made us work in the fields so that we will know what it would be like for us if we ever thought about quitting school. It worked for me!! He was a man of few words but by his presence I learned that it was okay for men to cry when their sad and women weren’t responsible for cooking all the meals. My dad was an excellent cook!
One thing that I have learned is that because my parents immigrated here from the Philippines, they brought they culture, habits and ways of being with them and no matter how much they tried to make their children “all American” they instilled in us their Filipino culture by they way they raised us to invite everyone into the home as family, not to argue with “white people” (of course, that has changed a bit!) , kiss everyone good night . There are more I’ve learned that I can’t point out. But as I go through the day I often remember sayings from my mom and dad that make me laugh. My latest one was that my mom told me that the man that sits in the black and white care was my uncle. As a child, it was comforting to know that my uncle was everywhere!!!
I encourage you to find out the stories of your past so that your present and future can be made richer. Knowing the generations before you and their struggles can help you become equipped for the present and future. It is no different for the church. The first generation of Bethel sixty years ago decided to start a church a place for people to go to Sunday School and gather as a faith community. In the ensuing years, however, just wanting to be a church was not enough to keep it vibrant and alive in the changing culture it lived. We continue the journey of the faith community of Bethel, understanding that God is not done with this community of faith and that as long as we are faithful to God’s call for justice, mercy, compassion, and love, future generations will continue to journey together as God calls them to this place we call Bethel.
Peace,
Sarah